After The Fall
by WriterForHiree
Summary: "Dean, I know you miss Cas, but he's gone," he paused, "I'm sorry." Dean swallowed hard and thought about seeing Cas after coming back from purgatory. He knew he couldn't, he wouldn't let him slip away again. "No, I'm turnin' around,"...


The rain felt like shards of glass hitting his skin as he walked through the pouring rain. His overcoat was drenched and he couldn't stop shivering, but he knew that all he could do was keep walking if he ever wanted to get out of his wet clothes and warm up. The rain came down harder and faster he looked up and let out a painful sigh, "This would be so much easier if—" he started as a car drove by him full speed, splashing water onto him, "Are you kidding me!" he cried as the car drove down the road.

Dean looked into the rearview mirror and frowned slowing down to pull over. Sam furrowed his brows and looked at him confused, "Hey? You okay?" he asked worried. Dean turned off the ignition making the wipers stop in mid wipe, "I just, I could've sworn I saw..." he said trailing off. Sam sighed, "Dean, I know you miss Cas, but he's gone," he paused, "I'm sorry." Dean swallowed hard and thought about seeing Cas after coming back from purgatory. He knew he couldn't, he wouldn't let him slip away again. "No, I'm turnin' around," he said turning the ignition back on.  
"Dean, he's not—"  
"Shut your mouth and let me do this, Sammy!" he yelled making Sam jump in his seat. Dean cleared his throat and tried again, "Just, let me do this." Sam nodded and starred out the window.

Dean looked ahead through the rain trying to pin point where he saw Cas. He scanned the road, but no one was around. Whoever he saw was gone now. Dean could feel his eyes swell up and his throat close up. "_I knew this would happen again," _he mumbled to himself. Sam turned his attention to him, "What?" he asked confused. Dean cleared his throat and pulled over, "Nothing," he said parking the car and turning off the ignition. He opened his door and let one leg hang out; turning to Sam he said, "I just. I need to find him." Sam sighed exhausted, "Alright, I'll be here," he said slouching into his chair.

Dean got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. The rain poured down onto him soaking him entirely, but he could care less about that right now, all he wanted was to see _his_ angel again. He walked out into the middle of the road and turned around scanning up and down the stretch, "Damn it, Cas," he said, his lip quivering. He wiped his fingers across his forehead and covered his eyes with his hand and sighed.

Cas kept walking down the side of the road as the rain let up. He was sure the bunker was just a few more miles up ahead, but he wasn't sure he wanted to reach it. Stopping in his tracks he sighed. _This is stupid,_ he thought. _Dean wouldn't want to see me, not after everything I've done to him, not after all the lies and secrets I've kept from him_. Cas felt his stomach turn over and his eyes well up the more he thought about it. "What's wrong with me?" he whimpered.

Dean got out of the Impala and walked around the car as Sam got out, "Dean, I'm tellin' ya," Sam started closing the door. Dean rolled his eyes as he walked up to the door of the bunker, "I know what I saw, Sam. Don't you dare try to convince me otherwise," he blurted. Sam sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Alright, fine whatever." Dean scoffed and unlocked the door to the bunker. Sam pushed past him and walked inside, "Hey, you don't gotta get all pushy," Dean said walking in after him. Cas stood across the street and watched as the door closed behind Dean. He took a deep breath in and waited a few seconds before walking up to the bunker.

Inside Sam sat at the table on his computer researching any new cases in the area when he heard a knock at the door, "Dean, you gonna get that?" he yelled, eyes glued to the screen. Dean walked past him and rolled his eyes, "Right, because you're so _far_ from it?" he asked heading to the door. Sam nodded, "Right yeah, sure," he said not paying attention. Dean sighed and walked up to the door as more knocking came from it, "Alright, I'm coming," he said, "Kevin shouldn't be back for another hour, who would—" he started as he opened the door.

Dean's eyes widened and he stood flustered trying to find his words. "Hello, Dean," Cas said almost breathless. Dean swallowed hard and cleared his throat, "I—I thought you were…" he paused gathering his thoughts, "Cas," he said in almost a whisper. Cas smiled at him and saw Dean's eyes glow.  
"Dean, I'm so sor—"  
"Damn it, Cas I thought you were gone for good," Dean pulled him in for a hug, cutting him off, "Don't you ever do that to me again," he said gripping onto Cas tighter. Cas stood in his embrace not knowing what to do, "Dean, I didn't mean to upset you," he said worried. Dean closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, still wrapped around Cas he said, "You—You didn't, it's okay," he paused and released himself from him taking a step back, "Why don't you come on inside and get you cleaned up, huh? You must be freezing," he said beaming.

Leading Cas into the bunker Sam mumbled from his seat, "So who was at the door?" he asked, not turning around. Dean patted Cas on the back and motioned him to stand behind Sam quietly as he walked into Sam's view, "Oh you know just one of the lords messengers," he grinned and winked at Cas. Sam looked up from his computer and scoffed, "What are you talkin' about, Dean?" he asked annoyed, "Hello, Sam," Cas said from behind him. Sam jumped up from his seat and punched him.

"Shit, Cas I—I didn't mean to, I uh," he stuttered trying to apologize. Dean ran to Cas' side and helped him sit down, "Jesus, Sammy you don't just punch people like that," Dean snapped at him, "It's okay Dean I'm fine, look," Cas said his voice breaking. Dean frowned down at him, "I am looking, Cas and your nose is bleeding. Just sit here, let me get an ice pack," he said tilting his head up, "Keep your head tilted up, alright? You don't wanna bleed all over… actually, go ahead bleed all over Sammy." Sam's jaw tightened, "Thanks, Dean," he said, "Anytime brother," Dean replied walking away.

Cas starred up at the ceiling and cleared his throat while waiting for Dean to come back with the ice. Sam frowned and grabbed a tissue off the table, "Here," he said handing it to Cas, "Use this, your neck'll hurt like that." Cas tilted his head forward and wrapped the tissue over his nose, "Thanks," he said noticing his voice change, Sam grinned, "Yeah it does that when you plug your nose," he said reassuring him. Cas nodded, "Oh, it's weird," he said trying to get used to it as Dean walked back in carrying a pack of ice and a glass of water, "Here, drink up," he said handing him the glass.

Cas took the glass in his free hand and brought it up to his lips taking a sip from it. Dean watched him closely as he drank expecting it to burn, but it didn't. Patting him on the back, Dean smiled, "It's good to have you back, Cas," he said. Cas grinned taking the ice pack from Dean and holding it, confused he asked, "Where do I put the ice pack?" Dean pulled up a chair beside him and grabbed the ice pack out of his hands, "Here, let me show you," he said softly placing the ice on the bridge of his nose. Cas smiled and held onto the ice pack, "Thank you, Dean," he said shyly.

Getting up Sam cleared his throat and walked towards the door, "I'm gonna go check to see if Kevin's got things under control," he said. Dean got up and walked after his brother, stopping him at the door, "Hey, uh I was wondering if you could just—"

"No, I know. I'll give you two some time," he said grabbing his coat off the hook behind Dean, "Thanks, Sammy," he said, as Sam put on his coat and walked out. Dean closed the door and headed back to talk to Cas.

Cas sat in his seat and took the tissue off his nose to examine it. There was blood all over it so he grabbed another tissue and put over his nose. Dean came back and sat in his chair facing Cas. He watched the broken once-angel now human in front of him, watching as his arm got restless holding up the ice pack and how he had put the ice pack down for a bit to let his arm rest, just seeing how human Cas was made Dean smile. "Why are you smiling, Dean?" Cas asked him concerned, as if smiling were a bad thing. Dean forced a laugh, "It's just, you," he said, his eyes fixed on Cas.

Cas frowned confused, "I made you smile?" He asked shyly. Dean grinned and shifted his sight away from Cas. He focused on the table in front of them while he spoke, "Well, no I mean yeah, but its just seeing you so human," he said not really finishing his sentence. Cas sighed and leaned back in his chair wincing in pain as his back touched the chair. Dean shifted his eyes back to Cas worried, "Cas? What's wrong?" He asked placing a hand on his shoulder. Cas sucked in a deep breath and bit his lip holding back the tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm—I'm fine," he said choking up. Dean's eyes searched Cas as he watched the fallen angel struggle, "Don't you do that, not with me," he said sternly. Cas looked up at him with tear filled eyes, "Dean," he whispered. Dean frowned and cupped his hand around Cas' face softly, "What happened, Cas?" He asked with less stern in his voice and more worry. Cas placed the tissues on the table not caring whether his nose had stopped bleeding or not and shrugged his coat off carefully not to cause himself any more pain.

Dean starred at the back of Cas' shirt in horror. There was blood staining almost every inch of the white cotton fabric, but the most was in the center just about where his shoulder blades were, Dean noticed the wounds that had been left over from his fall, "Oh, Cas," he whispered, "Does it hurt a lot?" he asked. Cas nodded putting his coat back on. Dean frowned and shook his head, "No, hey, let me get you cleaned up," he said pulling Cas' coat off, "Come on, I'll carry you," he said motioning Cas towards him.

Cas walked forward shyly and stood close to Dean, confused, "Are you sure you can carry me? What if I'm too heavy? Or—or you drop me? Or _you_ trip? Dean, I don't thin—" Dean placed his hand over Cas' mouth to shut him up, "Cas, I've carried Sam. I think I can manage you," he said. Cas nodded and Dean took his hand away from his mouth, "Okay, come on," Dean started, putting his arms out. Cas walked up to him slowly and threw himself around him, clutching onto him tightly, "Whoa, Cas, I think your digging into my back," he said jokingly. Cas tightened his grip onto Dean and talked into his shoulder, "I missed you, Dean," Dean could feel his smile bleed into his shoulder and he smiled to himself, "I missed you too, Cas," he mumbled.

Dean started to feel Cas' body weight get heavier and he needed to get Cas cleaned up before he fell asleep, "Hey, don't fall asleep now," he said softly. Cas mumbled something into his shoulder and Dean sighed, "Alright, come on, you're gonna have to jump up and get your legs around me so I can carry you," he said patting Cas on the arm. Cas tilted his head to the side so Dean could hear him this time, "Dean, you're really comfortable," he slurred. Dean chuckled, "I bet I am, but you gotta wake up. You can sleep all you want after I clean up your back, alright?" he said softly. Cas sighed into him and nodded. He jumped up and Dean grabbed him, holding his legs around him as he walked them to the bathroom.

Dean walked into the bathroom and switched on the lights, still holding onto Cas. He patted him on the back carefully avoiding the wounds, "Hey come on, you gotta let go now," he said. Cas shook his head and squeezed onto Dean. He sighed, "What do you say after I get you all cleaned up, we can sit on the couch and you can hold onto me as long as you want, hmm?" He said. Cas lifted his head off Dean's shoulder and smiled at him, "Really?" He asked, "I promise," Dean replied. Cas released his grip on Dean and got down from his hold. He stood unsure of what to do so he watched Dean gather all the supplies he needed. Seeing all the items laid out, Cas started to get nervous, "Dean, I don't know if I really want to do this," he said. Dean rolled his eyes, "I won't hurt ya, I promise. Now sit down and take your shirt off." Cas looked stunned at the order, but followed through with it. Sitting on the toilet seat cover he started unbuttoning his shirt. Dean watched as. Cas struggled with each button, "Question for ya, " he started, "You ever take of that shirt as an angel?" He asked. Cas shook his head, "No." Dean sighed and kneeled in front of him.


End file.
